He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
