I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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