We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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