this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize