I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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