Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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