Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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