I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Someone shattered a urinal.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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