Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
