i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
