Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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