Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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