When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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