Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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