I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
