He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
