I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
