i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
