you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize