She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
