Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I did not marry a roomba.
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