Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize