it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My dick has a subreddit
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
