I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
