Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
