dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Text me some of your sweat
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
