I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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