omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
