You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
