direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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