Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
