You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
