Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Are we still banned from the library?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
