On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
