Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
