How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
