I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize