the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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