i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
