he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
