ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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