Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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