I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize