go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
