those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
