oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
