I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize