I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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