During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
