Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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