I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
