In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
