Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Houston, we have a blender
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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