The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
