i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
