Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
