i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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