I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
