Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We have started to decorate penises.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
