Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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