Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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