Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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