I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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