Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize