it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
