Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
