I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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