I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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