...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
