You're so nebulous sometimes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
