If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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