I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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