i just had sex bonerless
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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