but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
