Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
