I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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