I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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